I Am Vilandra

Author: hah
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I really wish I owned them
Spoilers: Through MitC
Feedback: Feedback rocks!

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Kivar's voice was as dark as the shadows he stood in. "Ahhh, Vilandra. You did come. I really wasn't sure you would."

His voice held just the slightest hint of mockery and she paused, just for a second. Covering up her misstep by adjusting the folds of the long dress she wore, Vilandra continued to approach. She settled her voice into a purr. "Of course I came, Kivar. You intrigued me with your promises." Stepping closer, she pressed her body to his. "Did you mean them or were you merely toying with me?"

His chest rumbled with laughter. His voice mimicked hers. " 'Of course I came, Kivar.' Our spoiled, simple princess. Ah, you play dumb so well, but you aren't, are you?" His finger traced along her jaw. "Tell me, my darling, devious one, how long did you have to wrestle with your conscience? A minute, two?"

Vilandra resisted the urge to slap the infuriating man. She couldn't, though; he alone had the power to give her everything she had ever wanted. Power, respect. And an opportunity to rid herself of her ties to the imbecile who ruled her planet. Her "beloved" brother, Zan.

Careful to keep her voice level, pleasant, and the tiniest bit subservient, she spoke. " A little longer than that." She laughed huskily, a sound which had turned more than one man's head. "I have the information you requested."

"Perfect. You've done well, Vilandra. Now tell me what you've learned." Kivar pulled her deeper into the shadows.

Gasping for breath I broke free of the dream. Sweat poured from my body and my muscles shook. The sheets around me were twisted and tangled. Dream, memory, I still wasn't sure which. For weeks now, my sleep had been disturbed by images like these.

Everything I had been told was true. I, Vilandra, had betrayed my people. But not for love as some had told the story. No, I had done it for a reason as old as time. I had betrayed my family, my duties, for power.

Unable to sleep, afraid to close my eyes for fear of discovering more of the awful truth, I threw back the covers and crawled out of my bed. I pushed the window open, letting the cool night air wash over me. It helped, but it couldn't drive away my past. I was starting to think nothing could.

I caught my breath and managed to stop the hysterical laughter that threatened to erupt at any time. I hadn't told anyone what I had managed to piece together, the frightening realization I had come to. All the events of the past few weeks were starting to make sense.

Tess's kidnapping by Whitaker. The Congresswoman had been determined to flush out Vilandra's identity. She had narrowed her suspect list by one but hadn't lived to tell anyone about it.

Then Nicholas and the Skins had captured us, held us captive. When we were tied up, Nicholas threatening to 'drain our brains,' that was when the memories started to return. I blame Nicholas for freeing the memories, for giving me these nightmares.

But those two events were nothing compared to when the Dupes came to Roswell. Lonnie, Rath, and Ava. Trouble wrapped in funky fashions and multiple piercings. Lonnie had tried to use the secret of Vilandra to break my ties with my closest family member. And she had almost succeeded.

The hysterical laughter threatened to return as I thought of the Dupes. They had called us the defectives. That had been closer to the truth than even they could have guessed. This time I couldn't stop the laughter from bubbling forth. Hysteria gripped me and I just stood by the window, rocking myself and laughing like a loon.

Someone tapped on my door and I struggled to muffle the laughter. "Max? Max, are you all right?" It was Isabel. I gave up trying to stifle the laughter as she tried the knob; I knew she would manage to unlock the door soon.

We were the defective pods. Somehow the essences had been mixed up when they created us. Now everyone looks to me for leadership and guidance. I can't do that; I have no idea how to lead. How can I? I am Vilandra.