My Everything

The Hermione Monologues, Part 2/7

Author: Lissanne
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. No infringement intended.
Summary: Futurefic, Hermione POV. Hermione reflects on a life full of love, sorrows, joys, and hope.
Thankyou: A huge thank you goes to Debbie for her beta and her support and encouragement. Without her, these monologues would never have seen the light of day.

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I think I'm pregnant with our first child.

Harry is overjoyed. We haven't confirmed it yet - we're going to the doctor's tomorrow to find out for sure - but all the signs are there. If we're right, then I'm about two months along.

I wasn't going to say anything to Harry until I was positive, but he'd guessed it anyway. Two weeks ago, as I lay in his arms, he asked me if I thought it was possible. When I answered him with a smile as bright as the sun, he was speechless. He managed to mutter a few words, asking me if I really thought so, but I'll never forget the look on his face. There was a myriad of emotions - love, surprise, shock, fear. I kissed him and told him he'd be the best father in the world, and a tear slid down his cheek, he was so overcome with the thought.

But since then, he's never been so happy. All he wants to do is talk about the baby. We've talked about names - I'm sure we've discussed every name possible - but haven't agreed on one yet. We both like Victoria for a girl, and we've both agreed that if the baby's a boy, his middle name will be Ronald, but it's early days yet. We've got another seven months before we need to decide. Harry has taken to reading one of the various tomes about parenting and pregnancy and childbirth that I've bought. He's so interested - he wants to know everything. He's taken to getting up in the morning and showing me how big our baby is at the moment, which makes me laugh because it's always the same.

I'm not showing yet - I probably won't for another month - but every night, Harry leans over and kisses my stomach. He runs his hand over it, looking for telltale signs that our baby is ready to make him or herself known, but my stomach is still as flat as ever.

We're both excited, nervous, and a little scared at the change this baby will make to our lives. We realise that things will be different now … we will have a little being who will be entirely dependent on us for everything.

We haven't told anyone yet, except Ron. We don't want to spoil the surprise until we've confirmed it. But we wanted Ron to know he was going to be an uncle, because he's our very best friend, and we were dying to tell someone. He's kept it quiet, and will come with us to the doctor tomorrow because we've decided to go out for dinner to celebrate afterwards, assuming our suspicions are correct. We want him there to share in this moment of our lives. He's thrilled for us and, even though he's already an uncle many times over, is nothing but enthusiastic at the thought of a niece or nephew. He's already deciding what jokes to teach our child.

Sometimes, when Harry's not home from work yet, I sit quietly in a corner and ponder what it all means. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared about being a mother. I wonder if I'll be too analytical or critical of our child. I've read everything I can get my hands on, but it still doesn't prepare me fully. My body, although showing no outwards signs of the life growing inside me, has begun to change and adjust. I can feel it.

Harry is wonderful with me. Already he's insisting I take it easy, not allowing me to pick up things or do anything he considers too strenuous. It makes me laugh, but I admit I'm enjoying it. I always enjoy the attention and affection he lavishes on me. And there's nothing that makes me happier than knowing I'm carrying Harry's child. It's not just a baby, it's our baby. Mine and Harry's. A totally unique individual who shares our genes. I hope the baby has Harry's features. His beautiful green eyes I can drown myself in sometimes. His raven hair that I love to run my fingers through. His sense of serenity. His ability to be able to make sense of anything and see the good side of everything, in spite of all the bad he's been through. With Harry there to guide him or her, I know this baby will be a wonderful human being, with two parents that will love it deeply. Just as they do each other.

Once we confirm it tomorrow, the owls will go out. I want everyone to know I'm having Harry Potter's baby.

My Everything: The Hermione Monologues, Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / Victoria / Harry