Faking It

I didn't want to be with Maria again.

But Liz convinced me it was important.

"What she told you, Michael, it - it doesn't sound like what I saw."

"Yeah, so maybe it's not the crash at all."

"What, do you want to take that chance?" She asked. "If she saw something, anything, then we have to pursue it, Michael. What if I see certain information from Max and she sees other information from you?"

I looked down at her. She wasn't gonna budge.

"Is it particularly frustrating?" I asked.

"Which part?"

"Always being right," I said, pursing my lips.

She smiled weakly. Finally. I'd been trying to get her to smile all night.

"Alrightalright," I said. "I'll hook up with her tomorrow."

**************

"Michael," she said. "This - mmm. This feels really good."

We were back in the eraser room. Me and Maria.

I tried to focus. I couldn't think about Liz.

Come on, Guerin-

"Michael?"

"What," I mumbled.

"These visions," she said, clutching me closer to her "Or, uh - flashes, or whatever? I'm just, um -" she swallowed.

"I'm not completely sure I've actually really had one."

What?

I let go of her and backed up.

"What do you mean, you're not completely sure?"

"Michael, I -" She looked cornered. "- I faked it," she said. "Okay?"

She faked it.

Liz was pushing me to get information from her. And she was faking it.

"Why would you tell me that?" I demanded.

You know why, Guerin.

"Why? Because I - I want us to be close," she stammered.

I shook my head. I couldn't believe this.

What? Surprised that she can lie too?

No. Surprised I fell for it.

"You think that makes us close," I said. I turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

Was she kidding? "How do you expect me to react?" I asked, trying to keep my voice even.

"Like - a person?" She said. "Talk to me?"

I remembered the look on Liz's face when I told her Maria had a flash.

"Yeah," I said, my tone getting sharp. "Well, I could act like a person, but then I'd have to fake it."

"You know, maybe if you weren't so defensive and you didn't shut down all the time -"

"Then what?" I asked. Lower your voice, Guerin.

"Maybe - it would happen," she said.

Amazing. This was my fault.

Suddenly I just wanted to hurt her. The way she'd made me hurt Liz.

"I lied to you, too," I said, folding my arms over my chest. "About the shoes."

"Really?" She asked, hesitant. "Because I did have -"

"Everybody's got red sneakers."

I slammed the door when I left.

**************************

She faked it. Maria faked it.

I felt ridiculously, deliriously happy.

"Why would you fake it?" I asked.

"Haven't you ever heard of the male ego?" She asked.

"Yeah, so -"

"And the question is, why did I tell him that I faked it?" I stopped for a drink of water. "Liz, it just - oh, my God, Liz," she said suddenly. "Liz -"

"What?"

"Go look in the mirror," She said. She sounded frantic.

"Why, what - what is it?"

The coach started yelling.

"I'll cover for you," Maria hissed, shoving me toward the mirror. "Just go!"

I was walking back to the lockers when the door opened.

"Max!"

Oh my God. He was stalking me.

"Liz -"

"What are you doing here?" I asked. I almost reached out to Michael.

"I just - I wanted to see you," he said.

He was stalking me.

"Here?"

"I had to know if something was real," he said.

"If what was real?"

"Well, just like you seeing things - I've seen things. And - one of those - things was -"

He looked to his right. At a shower stall. I didn't get it.

Wait -

That was the shower stall I'd imagined when I was thinking about -

Oh my God.

"You saw my -" Don't panic. Don't panic. I searched for a word. "- my fantasy," I finished.

"I had to know if what I saw was - really from you or if it was just my imagination, which - it definitely could've been," he said. "Except I've never been in the girls' locker room. And now that I see it, and - well, it is the same room. I know I didn't make it up."

He could see me. Everything I thought.

How long would it take him to see how I felt about Michael?

"This is really horrible," I whispered, turning away.

"No, Liz," He said, not understanding. "It's incredible, really."

"This is not incredible," I whispered. He could see me. I felt sick.

"Wait, please - listen. Please?"

I turned around slowly.

This can't be happening.

"The main thing is - I didn't just see what you saw - I felt what you felt. When you saw me."

What?

That didn't make sense. When I was having that - daydream, Liz, not a fantasy, a daydream, I didn't feel anything for Max.

I cared for him. I wanted him to be happy. But I didn't want him.

What does that mean?

"And I never thought anyone could really - ever feel that way about me," he said quietly.

Oh, Max...

My heart broke for him. So many girls would give anything to have someone feel about them the way he felt about me.

It wasn't his fault I was crazy in love with his best friend.

We both stood there, not saying anything, when I heard someone yelling my name. The coach.

I grabbed Max by the arm, dragging him into one of the shower stalls. I wasn't done talking to him.

We were both quiet. She left after a minute.

"Uh -Liz?"

"What?"

"You have a hickey," he whispered. "And it's glowing."

I looked in the mirror. A small, oval-shaped circle was glowing on my neck.

Oh my God -

I reached out for Michael immediately.

{Liz?} He was scared. He must have felt how panicked I was. {What's wrong?}

Max's hand came up behind my back, covering the circle -

****************

Something beeping. In the desert.

Men running. In army uniforms. With guns.

A tower -

****************

His hand left my neck and my eyes opened.

{Liz, are you alright?}

{- I'm fine, Michael - I'm sorry -}

I looked up at Max, trembling. I was terrified.

"This is getting really weird, Max," I whispered.

What's he doing to me?

****************

Michael met me in the eraser room.

"I don't get it," he said. "Why would the hickey be glowing?"

"I don't know, Michael," I whispered, checking the door. "This whole thing is scaring me. I don't know if it's because it's him, or because you and I can light each other's skin up, or what it is. I mean -" I looked up at him. "You never left a mark on me, Michael. You never left a mark on Maria - did you?"

He shook his head. "No way," he said. "Well, nothing that glowed, anyway."

"-And those men I saw, I'd never seen that before," I whispered. "Plus, they were in, like black and white. Like an old movie or something. The other visions I had were so vibrant, so full of color -"

"Liz, calm down," he said, putting his hands on my shoulders. "Breathe."

"- I can't, Michael, we're so close," I said. "I think I'm about to find something, something really important."

"I believe you," he said. "Just breathe. Okay?"

"Okay," I whispered, taking a breath. I looked up at him.

He looked so concerned. Watching my eyes. I melted, forgot about Max, about flashes.

I just wanted to be with him.

I stood on tiptoe, wrapping my arms around him, kissing him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and one of his hands slid into my hair.

No flashes. Nothing. Just his lips on mine, his body pressed close to me.

The way it should be.

"I wish it was you," I breathed. "I wish it was you."

He nodded. "Me too," he said. His arms tightened around me and he pulled me into a hug. We were both silent for a minute.

"Michael," I said softly. "I don't want to bring this up, but -"

He groaned and his arms went slack. "What," he said. "What now."

I took a breath. "Michael - Max and I can't keep making out here at school," I said. "There's classes, and everybody's always around, and we've already been discovered once -"

"What are you saying, Liz?"

"Michael, I -" I bit down on my lip. Say it, Liz -

"Michael, I think we should use your apartment."

"What?" He snapped. "You want - what?"

His eyes were flashing. I tried to make the words come out.

"Don't - Michael, don't-"

"Don't what, Liz?" He demanded. I hadn't seen him this angry since-

Since he left Roswell.

"Don't freak out because my girlfriend wants to use my place to make out with Max? Don't have a problem with that?"

He turned around and slammed his hand against the metal shelves. I jumped. Anybody could hear him.

And if anyone caught me in the eraser room with Michael, it was all over.

"Michael," I whispered. "It's not like that. You know it's not like that."

"Yeah, well, it feels like that," He snapped. "You want to - I can't believe this," he said, shaking his head and putting his hands on his hips. "I cannot believe this."

"Michael," I whispered. "Look - don't you want to know?"

"Liz, I don't know, okay?" He said loudly. "What, I have to choose between knowing everything about me, or letting Max make out with you in my apartment? No. You know what, not just no, but hell, no."

I looked down. He folded his arms over his chest. "We'll have to think of something else," he said.

"Michael," I said softly. He wouldn't look at me. "Michael..."

He shut his eyes and slammed his head back against the shelves. I flinched.

"What," he hissed.

I smiled a little. "You, uh - you called me your girlfriend," I said.

He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. "Yeah. 'Girlfriend'," he repeated sarcastically. He snorted derisively. "It doesn't even come close," he whispered.

I smiled more.

No wonder I was crazy about him.

"Look, Liz, we - you - may have to do this whole thing with Max, but not at my place," he said, lowering his head and staring at me. "Some. Place. Else. I don't care where, but not my place. Got it?"

I nodded. "Okay," I whispered. "We'll think of something else."

***************

Roswell's a decent-size town. Not big, by a large shot, but it's an average-size town.

In that entire area, you'd think Liz and I would be able to think of or find some location where she and Max could make out to their hearts' content and not be spotted, interrupted, bla bla bla.

You would be wrong.

{Michael, please - look, it'll make me feel better being in your place.}

{Thanks, Liz. I'll sleep much better at night knowing that.}

{Michael, what else are we gonna do?}

{Fine.} She was unbelievably stubborn. {I give up, Liz. Use it.}

{There's one more thing, Michael -}

{What?}

{- You may have to, um - talk him into it.}

First Maria. Then Max & Liz were gonna use my apartment. And now I had to encourage him to -

{This just gets better and better, Liz.}

{Sorry, Michael. Hold on a second.}

I waited a few seconds.

{I'm back, Michael.}

{What was that about?}

{I shut my door. My mom's playing her music.} She rolled her eyes. {If I hear 'I'm Every Woman' one more time I'm gonna scream.}

I cringed. {Your Mom likes Whitney Houston?}

{No, no -} She shook her head. {The old version. By Chaka Khan.}

Now, that was impressive. {She likes Chaka Khan? She rocks. Especially that song. }

{Please, Michael - she plays her all the time, especially when she's having a rough day.} She sighed. {I can't even hear any of her music without thinking of my Mom.}

{Really...}

Yeah. It was a stupid stunt.

It was totally worth it.

****************

Isabel and I were talking about the flashes when Max walked in.

"Uh, listen," He said awkwardly. "Um - Liz is on her way over."

"Okay," Isabel said lightly. "We'll leave."

"You guys don't have to leave -"

That was my cue.

"Go for it, Maxwell," I said, clapping him on the shoulder. I tried to keep my touch light. "For the good of all mankind, you lucky, undeserving dog."

"Michael, that's not what this is about -"

I laughed. "Don't make me beg you to do what you and Liz obviously want to do anyways. I really don't see a problem with it."

"The problem is treating someone I care about like a thing - to be used."

He hit a nerve.

"What, and that's what I'm about?" I said, my voice turning hard, "Is that what you're saying?"

He didn't get it. He'd never understand what I had with Liz, how I felt about her.

Not even close, Maxwell.

"The words are coming from your mouth, Michael."

He was such a self-righteous, arrogant bastard. My eyes narrowed and I could feel my palms heating up.

I nearly clocked him. If Isabel hadn't stepped in it would have been all over.

There was only so much I could take.

He moved over to one of the chairs and sat down.

I need you to talk him into it, Michael.

I took a deep breath and sat down next to him. For a second, I almost told him he was right, that they shouldn't go through with it. That he'd just be using her.

Anything to keep it from happening.

But she was right. We had to know. I took a breath.

"Listen, Maxwell: you are a sensitive guy. And you have available to you one of the top three seduction lines in history, with "It's gonna help me find my home planet"."

Him. Me. Is. All of us.

"And you're refusing to use it," I said. He looked over at me.

"No guy is that sensitive," I said. "Use it."

I stood up and went to the door. Isabel turned the lights off and snapped her fingers.

All the candles in the room lit up.

Liz loved candles. She said she liked the way the light flickered across our skin when we were -

He doesn't deserve her.

"Nice," I muttered.

The door opened and Liz was standing there.

"How's it goin'?" I asked.

She looked at me. Glanced at Max. "Strange," she said, looking down.

"I'll bet," I said.

Nobody moved.

{Liz, are you sure -}

{Michael. I'm fine. Go on.}

"All right," I said. "We're leaving now. But I got some Chaka Khan cued up in the CD player."

Liz's jaw dropped. Her eyes widened. I think she was about to laugh.

Isabel dragged me out the door before I could be sure.

next...

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